Fantasic Baseball Hair

Fantastic is not strong enough a word.

Prolific is better.

Mike Piazza


That man holds the all time record for home runs hit by a catcher. He was also the dead last pick in the draft. Picked purely for his prolific hair.

Sal Fasano

Odd Ballplayer Beliefs part 2

Darren "Dutch" Dalton

Darren Daulton was a major league catcher from 1983 until 1997. I personally remember him from early childhood when he played in the 1993 World Series as a member of the Phillie's.

"Dutch" was a solid catcher. 137 career home runs, a World Series title with the Marlins, and an all-star game appearance is nothing to laugh at.

That's why it is not his baseball career that people laugh at.

To quote Wikipedia Daulton has become notorious in the baseball community for "his unusual theories regarding human existence and time travel."

That is putting it nicely.

Daulton has claimed, essentially, that he has time traveled and is in tune to the vibrational energies that underlie the entire universe. On December 21, 2012, himself, other people in tune to the energies of the universe, and a bunch of Mayan architecture will "ascend into a new plane of existence."

Presumably one without DUI laws and the Toronto Blue Jays.

He also claims that his 2001 DUI arrest spawns from a errand he was running for the White House and FBI.

It's hard to believe that a guy would not report any odd experiences or beliefs when he has spent a significant portion of time hanging around with guys like this.



Here's a video interview from an ESPN report.

Seriously. Watch the video.

The thing that makes this bizarre is who this guy is to baseball fans that remember him. Darren Daulton was a HARDASS. He was a member of "Macho Row" with his "hard-playing-hard-living" teammates Lenny Dykstra and John Friggin' Kruk.

Odd Ballplayer Beliefs

In baseball success is often hard to come by. In fact a good batting average indicates a success rate of 30%. As such ballplayers are a superstitious breed and often times creatures of habit. I sported a magic wood bat and ALWAYS made sure I rubbed dirt on the barrel before each plate appearance. Otherwise God only knows what would happen.

This post is not about that however. This post concerns ballplayers with beliefs
which are at the very least...eye opening.

Carl Everett



Carl Everett does not believe in DINOSAURS.

No joke.

Carl Everett on Dinosaurs:

"Didn't exist. God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex."

"Biblically, there’s no mention of dinosaurs. According to the word of the Bible, Adam had dominion over all animals; according to man, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. So either Gods a liar, or…well, I don’t believe that Gods a liar."

"You can make bones in the lab nowadays. And every year they come out with a different dinosaur movie, so does that mean that that dinosaurs existed?"

He also doesn't believe in "gay". Whatever that means.

Dog Day Afternoon

Sometimes Bank Robbers are polite. Too polite for their own good.

I recently viewed, for the first time, the fantastic film Dog Day Afternoon starring Al Pacino, John Cazale, Brian Dunning and a wonderful patchwork cast of peripheral characters.

The 1975 film recounts the actual attempted robbery of the East Third Street New York, NY branch of the Chase Manhattan bank by John Wojowicz and Salvatore Naturille on August 22, 1972. When the robbery was compromised, Wojowicz and Naturille held seven employees hostage for 14 hours.

The film is very dynamic and I felt like I was in the bank myself. It was one of those films where I become so enveloped in the film that two hours seems to stretch forever upon first viewing, but forever in a good way, not a boring way. In that way where passage of time becomes ambiguous.

The fantastic aspect of the film is how many different dynamics come to light about the main characters. Chris Sarandon plays the main characters pre-op transexual wife who was actully committed to a mental institution prior to being procured by police for negotiation methods. That really happened.

Robberies aren't as interesting as they used to be. The hostages warmed up to Wojowicz. And not in a Patty Hearst syndrome kind of way.

Believe it or not the situation was actually complicated by the fact that within a few hours of the police standoff it was clear that Wojowicz would never have considered harming any of the hostages in any way. His partner however, was nervous, had recently been to prison, and was a very unpredictable man if the situation would have gotten intensified.

Excellent film.

Players For The Planet

Here's something nice.

Reds outfielder Chris Dickerson has a passion which he devotes himself to on a daily basis. Improving our environment and using his position as a proffesional athlete to raise overall environmental awareness.



His main concern is waste generated by professional sports teams, not suprisingly.

In the minor leagues Dickerson started a recycling campaign amoungst the teams he played for in which he convinced all players to start recycling plastic bottles.

He and pitcher Jack Cassel in the Cleveland Indians organization have come together and founded an organization a website devoted to environmental causes associated with sports, and the world in general.

That organization, Players for the Planet, has had athletes from several sports sign on to the cause, including Phillies second baseman Chase Utley and Green Pay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk.

Gump Running

I have a few scenes in film that resonate with me for fairly personal reasons.

I would like to share them. Not the reasons, but the scenes.

The first one that always gives me a very good feeling is the running segment from Forrest Gump. I love when he is describing this period to Jenny at the end of the film.

"I just felt like Running." Another aspect of this scene is where people start following Forrest. It's not unlike when people dress like their favorite musicians or celebrities, or attempt to write like their favorite journalist instead of finding their own niche in life and being comfortable with what they are. People are always looking outside of themselves for an answer that will fill the void.

Forrest ran for himself. He thought as he ran. He didn't run from his problems, he ran as a method of resolving the inner turmoil he was feeling over the loss of his mother and Jenny's back and forth appearances in his life.



My other scene is the end of the Shawshank Redemption where the camera is panning over the Pacific Ocean as Red and Andy meet again.

Andy: ANDY: Tell you where I'd go. Zihuatanejo.
RED: Zihuatanejo?
ANDY: Mexico. Little place right on the Pacific. You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory. That's where I'd like to finish out my life, A warm place with no memory

Be a Simple Kind of Man

I mean really simple. Like Forrest Gump simple.

It's not a moral thing. It's not a return to simpler times thing. It's not a romantic view of rural America thing.

It's an easily amused kind of thing, like the Nirvana song.



I'm fairly exited and entertained by Christmas lights. I would also love it do death if I could get my hands on some neon signs. Such things would leave me highly contented with life. Once my pitchers mound is completed I will have two of the three things on my life-checklist. Not of goals necessarily, but more on a lifestyle level.

I think Vegas would leave me in a trance. I could care less about the gambling. Think of all the lights! NEON! COLORED! FLASHING! ALL THREE IN ONE!!!!!


One of the things to see in the world in my opinion the Neon Boneyard, in Las Vegas.

Pray to God I Never Get a Time Machine

What would you do if you had a Time Machine.

Stop atrocities? Warn relatives about future negative events? Save lives in general?

Wait a second, I'm think I may be overestimating the selflessness of the general population. It's more likely that depending on what era is gone back to that person x is going to either invest or pull their money out of something.

First things first, before I went to see the Colssus of Rhodes, Woodstock, or the Great Molasses Flood of Boston, I would probably frequent some more...infamous occurences.

And for the purposes of this post I'm not going to be intervening in anything. Kind of like the way those producers of nature films never help a wounded seagull or hide lion or cheetah cubs from a dominant male who is coming to devour them.

I think I would have to go see Gacy's crawlspace, when it was open for business of course. I would also definantly hit up that time Michael Richards deemed it prudent to for reasons unknown, deliver some highly experimental comedy. A Texas school book depository in 1963 would also be on my list, primarily because there's a good chance no one will be in it by the name of Oswald.

I would go to concerts definantly. I would have to see Bill Hicks and 1973 Pink Floyd show. Would the money I spent be taken out of my bank account in the present?

NOVA

Let me tell you a little bit about sleep.

I like sleep. I do as much as it possible.

But for a long time the utility of sleep has been a question that Science has never fully answered. Different animals seem to need variant levels of sleep. Dolphins seemed to never sleep, until research showed that they were capable of sleeping with one side of their brain awake.

Ducks do the same thing. Watch a duck sleep more closely sometime. On at least one individual in the group you will see the eye facing away from the inside of the group of sleeping ducks intermittently open and close. That side of the brain is partially awake as the other, and always closed eye, is fully asleep. You will know when the duck has hit REM (rapid eye movement) sleep because it's posture will slack.

But the question at hand. Why sleep at all? No definitive answers exist. The common sense one, rest, is not quite sufficient. What is it about the brain wave activity, which the most marked change in our body during sleep, that enhances the rest experienced during sleep?

The logical inference is that sleep is much more for our brain than for our bodies.

And recent the results of recently performed research points in that directions.

A Scientist researching sleep at MIT hooked up electrodes to the brains of mice. Directly hard wired the suckers.



He then put the mice through a maze in search of cheese. The entire time each mouse was in the maze a constant stream of signals was propagated from the brain of the test mouse up through the electrodes and to a receiving unit which translated each signal pattern into a series of dots creating a pixelated image of the electrical activity of the mouse's brain. A snapshot, if you will.

Every time the mouse was at a given point in the maze a similar pattern of dots emerged on the machine. Each time a mouse found cheese similar patterns would appear. This consistency in electrical output allowed scientists to determine where in the maze a mouse was without even needing to see the mouse.

Essentially they could literally read its mind. Like braille.


Of course, at some point the mice would go to sleep. And what emerged was very intriguing.

For the first 10 minutes of sleep there would be a random cycling of dot images that would appear, disappear and re-appear. Then the same pattern would be run in reverse order, and repeated in forward order.

The repeated images and image sequences corresponded directly to the images sent to the machine by each mouse when it was in the maze. Some images corresponded to given areas of the maze, some sequences were the ones that yielded no cheese, and others were replays of the sequence of movements the mouse made when it was successful in finding food.

Essentially during the initial stages of sleep the brains of the test mice were going over the new lessons of the day and it's various experiences. The memories were edited and rehearsed.

The implication is that sleep serves as a method for our brains to rehearse and imprint vital functions and process new information.

And the physical test data in humans echoes the results obtained from the mice.

It would be unethical to hardwire a human being and capture his thoughts. Such are the moral limitations of science. But like a mouse we are mammals. Our brain organization is similar like our functional DNA.

As such it is not a stretch to assume similarities in the chemical architecture of our brains.

People do better on certain diagnostic tests after a night of sleep. A famous test involves typing an identical series of letters and numbers before and after 8 hours of sleep. The average subject increases his performance speed by 50%.

Think baseball, football, singing, math etc, any of these activities, if they are indicated to the brain to be desired as attained skills, may just be imprinted in us during sleep.

So don't slack off on sleeping.

Carlos Zambrano is going to Shoot Someone (well, not really)

Carlos Zambrano is crazy and I don't mean the good kind of crazy. I mean the kind of crazy that's not conducive to athleticism. It's not intensity, it's insanity.

Carlos and the Cubs came to Atlanta in the beginning of April, and with it they brought his very special brand of dealing with adversity. Complete and total emotional implosion. Not the crying kind, the hulk smash kind.

Hulk smash however is not conducive to being an effective pitcher. I reference to demeanor's of Greg Maddux or Mariano Rivera. Serious, intense, but composed.

So that's why I knew after Chipper Jones and Brian Mccann reached on bloop hits, and the Braves young stud was on deck, it was "about to get good".

I found it extremely humorous when Jason Heyward got to take his first big league cuts against a very...aggravated Carlos Zambrano.

First Pitch: 94 mph up and in
Second Pitch: 94 mph up and in
Thrid pitch: 93 mph down and out over the plate. Heyward offers.

Result: Holy Shit



I'm half surprised that Zambrano didn't follow Heyward around the bases screaming at him and demanding a rematch.

Heyward must have been given the scouting book on hitting Zambrano. The book on Zambrano is a little different from most pitchers. I happen to have obtained a copy from an unnamed professional scout.

1. Don't look him in the eye
2. Avoid red colors
3. Don't turn your back to him under any circumstances

Maybe I'm a Downer But...

I would like to take a moment and discuss the practice of expert picks and conventional wisdom in the field of predicting sports outcomes.

I am a huge fan of underdogs. I love nothing more than when it's said by a layman or by an expert that a given team "doesn't have a chance".

The NCAA tournament generally does not let me down in giving these nice folks to eat their words.

Here's the expert picks on this years NCAA tournament:

7 of 12 had ONE team in the final four

Four went with West Virginia, and three with Duke. No analyst had two of their selected teams make it into the final four of the tournament.

Now I know that's harsh to chide them for not having more success in a field of 64 teams, but all I heard this year was that the field was weak and the big schools from major conferences would have easy pickings. Fat lot of truth that turned out to be.

Maybe I'm just ticked the the University of Illinois did not make the tournament.

Yeah that's probably it.

I like Oliver Stone films in general. Talk Radio, JFK, Nixon, Natural Born Killers, Wall Street etc.

The Stone films I like, I really like.

Stone films I'm neutral over include some of his more popular entrees. Born on the Fourth of July, Platoon, W, and Any Given Sunday.

I recently watched the 1988 Stone film entitled Talk Radio.

Talk Radio is a fantastic exploration into the rise and dynamics of talk radio. In particular the motives and psychology of the controversial, opinionated, and abrasive hosts.



Eric Borgosian is fantastic as the up and coming Barry Champlain. The conflict between the on air persona's and the off-air human being is explored. In some cases, like Rush Limbaugh however, I'm not sure there is actually much of a difference between the person I hear on the radio and the person outside of the studio.

I like the portrayal of callers who constantly listen to the show but profess a passionate hatred for the host. They say he should be off the radio. His ideas are incendiary to them. They don't change the station because deep down they don't want to.

NEW PROSPECT

Well, I have another sleeper fantasy pick.

Mat Latos, the big right handed pitcher for the San Diego Padres, has been picked to be the team's fifth starter.





I like his big frame (6'5 230lbs) and big fastball which he throws with exceptional control.

I don't like something I see in this picture however. Notice that his front foot has landed but his hips have not begun to rotate towards the catcher. I would feel more confident in his ability to maintain his plus stuff and avoid injury if he rotated his hips earlier and incorporated his lower half more into his delivery of the baseball.

But maybe his large frame will compensate and it won't be a factor.

Additionally, the Padres would seem to have an affinity for TALL pitchers.

See Chris Young, a modest 6'10. And the 6'6 Jon Garland.

For Some, Not Others. Continued.

DID YOU KNOW:


The Manson Family Ranch still exists. It is not on private property.

You can literally just go out to the ranch and wander around. There is nothing to stop you.



Feel free to go and view the bathroom sink Charles Manson hid under like a coward when authorities came to arrest him and his followers for the Tate/Labianca murders.

For Some, Not Others

The VW Beetle used by notorious serial killer Ted Bundy in over 15 murders has recently gone on display at the National Museum of Crime and Punishment.




Morbid Fascination? It would be hard to argue an interest in this exhibit as stemming from anything else. Especially if viewing the beetle is the reason someone went to the museum in the first place.

That said, if I'm ever in the Washington D.C. area, I'm probably going to swing by the Crime and Punishment Museum. Mainly because I want to see Ted Bundy's Beetle.

In my opinion the next logical step is to open up walking tours of John Wayne Gacy's crawlspace. I'll be there.

Why would you ever get in a car with this guy? No thanks man, I can walk.

Georgia Southern Students Embrace "Drinking For A Good Cause"

On Saturday Feb. 13, the scene at J.B. Partalis's house in the Statesboro, Georgia looked like your run of the mill college party. $1, please, for a plastic cup to drink from the keg. Most of the time this fee is meant to reimburse the hosts of the gathering who likely paid for the keg out of their own pocket.

Sometimes, however, the "better angles of our nature" show themselves.

J.B. is no stranger to an energetic birthday bash. For the 25th anniversiary of his arrival on Earth, however, he wanted to do something different.

All of the money collected at the party went to the St. Judes children fund. Over 300 dollars were raised.

Apparently I'm Supposed to Know Everything About Your Personal LIife

Amanda Bynes recently tweeted these statements:
(following tweets are verbatim)

"it's amaziing how good it feels when someone knows how to love your body! I am having withdrawals from a certain guy lol :)"

"So turns out i prefer chocolate over vanilla. interesting."

"FYI if any girls are mad that I like "chocolate" they need to seriously get OVER it. sorry you can't have all the chocolate to yourself:)"

I am uninterested in the specific subject of the tweets. I don't care what race Amanda Bynes prefers to date or is currently dating.

What confounds me is the fact that she would tweet what seems fairly private matters. It sort of blows the lid off my philosophy that such things are none of my business. Instead these intimate matters are made my business by putting them on the internet for public consumption.

Last week I was standing in a line to get food and not 1 foot from where I was standing a girl discussed her previous nights escapades with her ex-boyfriend at what I can only call significant volume. I could not have ignored her if I had tried.

I guess I'm confused. But then again when everyone else's sex lives, substance abuse habits, and psych issues are out there to be known maybe its normal to assume that you must put yours out there as well. Maybe it's a social thing.

I don't know who said it first, but I am reminded of a quote I once heard from a man I consider a wise source:
"When everyone is compromised no one is compromised."

TAKE ME DOWN THE THE PARADISE CITY

SPRING TRAINING COMETH




One of my favorite times of the year is nearly upon us. A time when I am filled with a youthful enthusiasm for life in general. That time: Major League Baseball Spring Training.

For many people it symbolizes a new beginning. I personally have a romanticized vision of ballplayers return from a winter exodus where they had scattered to the winds,converging on the states of Florida and Arizona to begin the yearly ritual anew.

Like when Dohnny Damon returned to Red Sox spring training in 2004 sporting a new look after apparently spending the off season on a spiritual quest somewhere in the Himalayas.



Veterans return to warm up and try and recalibrate their aging bodies and tap the residual skill that still exists in their bat or pitching arm, preparing for another 162 game six month marathon.

Rookies and minor leaguer's are there to strut their stuff in competition against each other and against the established veterans, hoping to win a spot on the roster or at least catch the eye of management. Remember each major league club as at least 5 minor league affiliates of 25 or more players all chasing the same dream. The dream of playing baseball at the Major League Level, of reaching "The Show"

Some, like myself, develop superstitions in their quest for greatness. PRAISE JOBU.

Nighthawks at the Waffle House

I am an extremely predictable man. I possess consistent habits. Those habits morph over time, but my adherence to them during the time frame that I have them is admirable.



Take my wardrobe for example. My final three years of high school I decided I was the modern version of the Clint Eastwood character from "The Man with No Name" western film trilogy. My daily dress consisted of a baseball cap, collared dress shirt,athletic shorts, dark aviator sunglasses, flip flops regardless of temperature (but preferably barefoot if possible) and an Afghan blanket that I wore tied around my neck for napping purposes. I was known affectionately as "The Goat".

Picture a combination of Pig Pen and Linus of the Charlie Brown comics.

































Except this is how I thought I looked. Note the discrepancy between my perceptions and reality.




These days my strict routine involves frequent visits to the Waffle House. I probably average about 5 visits a week and between 2 and 6 hours per visit.

Why?

The Waffle House appeals to me for several reasons. The main one is my curiosity. My fascination about various experiences and life paths of the people that pass through. The trajectories of our universes intersecting just long enough for a brief meal and conversation.

My opening description of my high school dress habits is meant to impart the idea that I have not taken an average trajectory through life. As such feel at home with the hodge podge of characters who frequent the waffle house along with myself. We come together and exist in a void. The nights pass imperceptibly. As Yogi Berra might say, nightime is not like the daytime. There is no sun moving through the sky to indicate the passage of time. Only the clock on the wall tells us, and that alone is not sufficient to stave off the feeling of existing in a vacuum, withdrawing into the abyss of night.

Thus, we are Nighthawks at the Waffle House, and famous painting is alive in the Southeastern United States. And it looks a lot like this:

My opinion on the Tiger Woods scandal has not changed since December 1. When I found out that alcohol or drugs were not a factor in the car accident that started this avalanche, the rest of the details became none of my business. And probably none of yours either.